BLOG #1: Flipping the Racial Script to Create Change

Flipping the Racial Script to Create Change

If you are white and want racial equity, don’t just “check-in” with your black friends, talk to your White friends too.

MG  July 1 2020

 Many of my friends and colleagues are checking-in with some of their African-American and black colleagues and friends these days, to see how they are doing in the midst of the public reaction to the killing of George Floyd and other black people by police.  It is always good to check-in with people you care about, especially now, but if that is the extent of what we do, then we risk keeping us stuck in a familiar racial script.  We’ve had this script for several decades in the U.S.  A visible racist incident occurs, people largely react in horror; for whites it is as if we’ve suddenly discovered that there is still racism.  People of color are in the spotlight sharing their feelings, perspectives and experiences.  Some whites talk about how awful and evil the incident was and how we need to come together while others make excuses for the white perpetrators.   The conversation slowly becomes polarized, and then we hear calls for a “national conversation on race.”  Then, the moment is over, for whites and the media, and nothing really happens.  As frustration continues in communities of color, energy for change is sustained, protests continue, blame of protestors increases, and many whites pull away.  Once again, nothing happens, and people of color, often black people due to the United States’  particular racial history, are left holding the bag, while some whites just forget about it, and other whites feel good about participating in some protests.

Nothing fundamentally changes.

There are some signs, in our current crisis, that flipping this script might be possible.  Recent polling shows there is a broadening public consensus across racial groups that blacks are treated poorly by the criminal justice system.  The extent to which a sense of injustice is perceived across the political spectrum, and not completely seen through a partisan and polarized political lens is a critical factor in creating change.  The other critical factor is the level of involvement and engagement of whites.  It appears many whites are involved in the ongoing protests, and are sustaining their involvement beyond a day or two.  I believe this is the most critical factor because it shifts the underlying power dynamic that usually maintains the status quo: the group with the most power (whites) is the least engaged and committed to creating change. 

When trying to achieve justice it is almost never possible if the energy for that change is driven by the excluded, “outsider” group.  The “insider” group, in this case whites, must engage not as interested observers but as members of a group that holds power, power that is the key to unlocking the status quo.  Real change means addressing this “insider-outsider” dynamic, a dynamic that is about how we see and react to events and to the status quo based on our membership in either the insider or outsider group.  On any important issue of difference there is an insider-outsider dynamic.  Because of our diversity, we are simultaneously in both insider groups and outsider groups, depending on the identity group.  For me, I am a white, gay, male, upper-middle class person not living with a disability.  In these five identities I’ve just shared, I am in the insider group on 4 of them, and in the outsider group only on the issue of sexual orientation.   I can articulate very clearly what it means to be gay, how I’ve experienced exclusion, stress and discrimination; I have examples, stories and experiences.  On the other four issues my understanding of the dynamics is more intellectual, and I can’t easily summon feelings, stories and experiences.  When it comes to the issue of race, if we are white, we are in the group historically and presently privileged, but we tend not to see that, or to be able to hold onto a moment of deep awareness when we see our privilege.  We don’t see it because it doesn’t hinder us.  For people of color, in the group that has been excluded, mistreated, discriminated against, etc. what is often seen is a pattern of experience that connects individual instances that whites often perceive as isolated incidents.  When we are in any outsider group, based on any number of differences such as gender, sexual orientation, ability status, socio-economic class, and race, we see the pattern of experience and we see and feel the accumulated impact.  People of color, in this case particularly black people, feel deeply the pain, frustration and anger that comes with the accumulated impact.  As whites we don’t feel that pain, and we can’t.  We can hear it and take it in, we can empathize, but if we want real change we must explore and engage our feelings about race, not focus only on how people of color feel.

If we whites can step back and see racial dynamics as an intense expression of a larger set of insider-outsider dynamics, then we can be informed by our own experiences as outsiders on some issues and insiders on others.  From this we can change our behavior and forge a path forward.  Here are 3 actions that can help flip the script.

Don’t seek approval from people of color, that you are a good white person

I know that one of my first reactions when I see a racist incident, is to want to separate myself from the person who perpetuated that incident.  This isn’t usually conscious, it is just an almost instinctual reaction.  It is understandable, particularly if I know that in my heart that I am well-intended.  Instead of acting on my good intent to explain or rationalize my own attitudes or behavior, it is more productive to use my good intent to try to understand the situation more fully.  For example, I could ask myself or other whites about what might motivate a police officer to behave in that way, and explore if we can relate to that police officer’s biases.  I don’t mean trying to be empathetic to hurtful, violent, and illegal behavior; I just mean trying to understand why as whites, we have such difficulty getting rid of this kind of bigotry.  This might help us understand the approaches and policies that will work, and will have broader public support.

Avoid scapegoating other Whites

Scapegoating blatant racists is very tempting, because there are plenty of examples of bad behavior.  The problem is, if we focus on the bad behavior of other whites, we miss that all whites are involved or at least impacted by racism, and we put energy into a vortex of blame that doesn’t move us forward.  There will always be someone to blame or to point fingers at, but are we able to take some collective responsibility for an issue that affects us all?   In other words, can we start to point the finger at ourselves collectively, as a group?  If we can do this with empathy, it will be a force for justice.  It is much easier to talk to someone who I am empathizing with, versus someone at whom I am pointing a finger.  This does not mean that we shouldn’t confront bad behavior; we should name and condemn racist behavior whenever we see it.  However, change will be facilitated when there is less conversation about individual bad actors, and more conversation about what we can all do differently as whites.

Don’t suggest that we need to start a national conversation about race 

Start one yourself, and start it with others like you.  Many of the most satisfying conversations I’ve had about race have been the ones I’ve had with other whites, because those types of conversations rarely happen at any level of depth.  I remember a conversation with my father, years ago on a vacation at the beach, where he talked about the raw racism he observed as a high school football player.  This racism was directed at a black teammate.  As he talked about it, an event that had happened 50 years prior, he teared up.  At the time, he had no understanding of what to do, despite his feelings and his good heart.  He supported his teammate of course, but that was it.  His sharing led to more conversation where we each shared our own biases, and our own struggles with being as fair and equitable as we wanted to be.  That conversation was important to both of us; for me it allowed me to relate to my dad in a different way, but also to see myself more clearly.  For him, he started to think differently about race.  He started to have different conversations with his friends.  His politics changed, as did his behavior.  He and I had more to talk about and a deeper connection.  It opened the door to more exploration of difference, including my experiences as a gay man.  We need more of those conversations.  When whites talk to whites about their experiences, struggles and dilemmas with race, real change results and it is sustainable.

 

The bottom line to all of this is that if we want true racial justice and inclusion, we as whites need to decide that it is in our self-interest to own the issue and dilemma of race in this country.  We achieved some level of legal racial justice about 50 years ago.  This happened because of actions of both the outsider group, via decades of organizing and visible protests that required immense courage because of violent backlash, and some members of the insider group who decided to finally to take some ownership of the dilemma and take the political and personal risk to move forward towards justice.  In that moment enough powerful white people used the power that came with their racial identity, combined that with the power of the institutions they led, and helped create real change.  Obviously just passing laws that make it illegal to discriminate won’t end racism.  Legal equality is necessary, but not sufficient.  The next step, which we might be engaging now, is more cultural.  It is more about how we understand and relate to each other.  Given the change of our population demographics, our workforces, our marketplaces, whether we will be diverse is no longer a question.  We are very racially diverse and are becoming even moreso.  The question now is how we manage the resulting dynamics.  The moment we are in right now is an opportunity to manage those dynamics differently.  If we want to continue our journey towards racial justice, equality, and inclusion we each need to see our shared responsibility, and also our shared opportunity.