MGK
November 13 2020
This is dedicated to my Uncle David, a father to 5 children,
who passed away just today.
I was reminded of my Mom the other day as I was writing in
my journal. She died almost 6 years ago
but she is very present for me. I
remember a lot about her and I think my clarity grows with time. When I doubt myself, I remember her lack of
belief in herself despite her smarts, her natural gifts, and her strong
intuition. As I continue to develop, and
become more fully who I am, I am doing this with her, for her, as a continuation
of her legacy. She grows through me and I
grow from her. I should remember more often
that I have within me the best of both of my parents. I have my Mom’s openness, curiosity, and
natural desire to keep learning, and her ability to move easily across
situations and people. I also have my
Dad’s unbridled optimism, his openness to all people, the way he relates to
others at a very human level, and very easily.
I have his tender heart and emotions that are just below the
surface. This is a good combination,
when I am able to let myself really be present to it. It is my foundation, and it is the core of my
faith in myself. It is a hard thing to build
on one’s parents’ legacy. It is easy to
get trapped in their inherited challenges, and not find the best way
forward. Nobody has an easy life,
especially psychologically, and our success at managing our own development as
human beings is connected to our ability to look clearly at who we are and who
we’ve come from, to understand the patterns of thought and behavior that can
limit us, but also the ones we can use to move us towards a more full
expression of ourselves. I see clearly
in me both my mother’s challenges in getting beyond her self-doubt, and I see the side of my father’s happy-go-lucky personality that can lead to
denial. I can incorporate those aspects
into me; I can see them, feel them, and reflect on them in ways that challenge
me and move me forward.
Each of our lives is a challenge and an opportunity. Our history is not in our control, but our
present is. How do you see in you, the traits
of your parents? Which of those traits
make you uncomfortable? Look at them
closely. Which strengthen you? Embrace them.
How about the ones good and bad, that you find it hard to see and acknowledge,
and own? Ponder them and own them. From this place you can experience both the
embrace of your parents and the distinctiveness of yourself.
